Reflection
by lamatikah
Summary: He looked at his reflection and saw the monster, he saw both of them. //for muffin


**disclaimer:** idon't own kingdom hearts or any of its characters  
**pairing/s:** none  
**warning/s:** none that i can think of

Reflection

The sun shined down on the vast watery mass. Sparkling, shining, rippling. The surface was ever changing, rocking in slightly delayed time to the soft breeze breathing through Sora's hair.

He remembered when he thought he'd never be able to feel that same breeze ever again as he watched the island slip and crumble away, fall through the darkness. Twice. He remembered feeling his stomach twist and turn before breaking loose and dropping to the floor – like a huge anticlimax. All that worry and stress and then suddenly, it just went. His island disappeared.

And yet, here he was – sitting on its shores, fingering the soft, white sand next to him and wondering how it was that he managed to come back, unscathed, unscarred and with all his friends in tact.

His friends meant the whole world to him. Literally, the whole world. And other worlds too – he travelled them all, just to find his friends. But sometimes his friends didn't want to be found. It was like a unhinged game of hide and seek. Riku didn't want to be found, he hid far away and ran when Sora got close – he thought he was ugly; he'd let the darkness seep through him; enter his bloodstream, rippling through his veins and taking over his heart.

Riku was stupid to think that, Sora decided. How could Riku be ugly? With all that courage and bravery, he pulled through and he let himself be found. He gave up on playing hide-and-seek, because, well, it's a game for

_children_.

That's what Riku said anyway, but Sora didn't see what was wrong with being a child, playing the silly games and not being mature but not being immature either. That day when he found Kairi, he was a child then. She just appeared, washed up on the shore, hair bedraggled and sticking to her face. Wispy bits of it sticking out at odd ends and her violet eyes, dull with a layer of sea water. She was a child too. But she was a ruined child.

She helped Sora draw, she made a castle with Riku and she watched the two fight. But she was never a child again – if she had been in the first place. She was always watching over them, making sure they didn't trip or they didn't hurt each other too badly. She forgot about child's play and remembered health and safety; being too kind and other things they teach in school. She gave up on the games as soon as she came ricocheting into Destiny Islands.

Sora vaguely wondered if that blonde girl played games. He had seen her drawings scattered over Kairi's bedroom and he had seen her pale blue eyes filter over Kairi's dark, bright ones. It looked like she was under a trance as pencil ghosted paper and crayon casually stroked page. She had drawn lots of things, mainly white rooms, a Reaper close by, his scythe glinting menacingly. Kairi said she dreamt about him sometimes. She said it was scary, his eyes darkened when he told her to draw. And then she'd find herself drawing people – people she didn't even know (and yet she did) running and playing with people she did know (and yet didn't).

She said everyone in that dream were people she didn't _want_ to know.

Naminé didn't play games, she played sick games to twist minds and thwart heroes. She was the monster. She was a monster like Riku – Riku, consumed by darkness. She was a monster like Kairi – Kairi, a broken princess. She was a monster like Roxas – Roxas, the other half of Sora.

Roxas screamed to get out, to be free. He was so much like Sora and yet so little. Roxas told Sora things that Sora didn't like to know. He told Sora how everyone had betrayed him, how his friends had completely forgotten him. How Sora was a murderer – a **murderer**. Every day, Sora was reminded of how he killed all those nobodies Roxas knew.

Roxas was a monster because he was the other half of Sora, but Sora didn't want him.

Sora was a monster because he killed them all.

Riku was a monster; Kairi was a monster; Naminé was a monster.

He looked at his reflection and saw the monster, he saw both of them. Riku's face flickered in his memory, shimmering against the waves. Kairi too, with Naminé flashing up quickly in an irregular beat.

Maybe he hadn't come back unscathed, unscarred and with all his friends in tact. Because... they were all people once. But, by circumstance, by some twisted fate bringing them together in a sick child's game, they became monsters. And Sora – well, he just couldn't tell the difference between them all anymore.

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**an:** DX okey dokey, i would appreciate it if you reviewed but if you felt a review would be unnecessary then feel free to review and tell me so. did anyone watch eurovision?


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